Dear Grandma,

Oh how my heart aches today as I remember the last time I talked to you six years ago. I will never forget the excitement of that morning as I dialed your hospital room and kept my fingers crossed that you were awake and would answer. You see, Joshua and I were driving on the 101 headed to work and I had a very narrow window to talk to you so I knew if you were still asleep, I would have to wait until lunchtime to say hello. How nice it was to hear your voice and to hear that you were okay. I will never forget the abrupt end to that call. You suddenly told me you had to go because you weren't feeling well. I did not hang up without telling you that I loved you, and you did the same. That was the last time I would talk to you.

Every day since then I have picked up the phone and wished that I could dial your number and hear your voice. You were always there on the other line to keep me awake during my late night drives. Oh how much I wish I could tell you about the promotion I received at work that would have given me more time to spend with you, the three beautiful great-grandsons that ache to know you, and the emptiness my heart has felt for the past six years. If only you could wake up and answer the phone.

I miss your fried chicken, your need to worry about everything, and most of all the unconditional love you gave. I hate that you are alive but not living. I hate that my children will never know you; but I am grateful for all the memories I can share with them. Oh how I wish you would let go so that you didn't have to suffer, but how stubborn I feel that I can't bring myself to tell you goodbye. I still hold onto hope that God will bring you back to us.

I pray that you aren't in pain; I pray that you know how much you are loved; but most of all, I pray that you are at peace.

I love you grandma.